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Are You Really Ready for Marriage?
An Opinion by Sky Taylor-Griffin
Why are you getting married?
This is the most important step to consider before thoughts of marriage enter a relationship. If the foundation of your marriage is weak, the marriage is doomed to crumble from the beginning.
1. Do you wish to marry because you simply want to be married?
If so, you may be lonely or feel the need to be wanted or loved. You must look into your heart - as well as use your senses to determine if what you feel is true love or infatuation - or simply the desire to be married.
How will you know the truth? People who are truly in love have difficulty being apart from one another. They rarely have significant arguments - when involve character attacks or disgracing their partner. And physical abuse is never involved where true love exists.
True love also involves a sharing of ideals and goals - and at times, even hobbies that the couple can enjoy together. Being of the same faith is also a key to a solid foundation.
You want to marry to start a family. Or, are you currently pregnant or the father of the pregnant woman?
If you are unsure if you are truly in love with your partner, it's best to hold off on getting married. If you go through with the ceremony and a child becomes involved, you may be stuck in that negative relationship for years - or for the remainder of your life.
If a child has already entered the picture, and if you're not in love with your partner, you'll need to have a serious discussion. At this point, the couple generally does what they feel is best for the child but you'll have to determine if this will be best for the child going forward. If you marry because of the child and later get a divorce, it may do more damage than good to the child.
You're choosing to be married because your significant other-one is pretty or handsome.
It's wonderful when we're attracted to our significant other, but it's certainly not the reason to get married. It takes about two years for the newness of a relationship to wear off - and when that magic fairy dust is gone, all the couple has is their inner feelings for one another. Some of the ugliest people in the world have the kindest of hearts while some of the most attractive people are destructive and mean. Choose wisely - from the heart, not making your choice based on looks because looks fade very quickly.
You're marrying the person because you don't feel you can do better.
Perhaps you've been dumped a few times and you're settling for 'second-best'. If so, rethink your life. It's better to be happy and live in peace alone - until you find you find your diamond in the rough, than to marry someone you're not truly happy to be with. And don't ever devalue your worth!
You're marrying for money.
This doesn't mean that you're marrying 'into' money - rather marrying so that you can pool your earnings with a partner. Money is always a very poor basis for marriage. However, it is wise to factor your financial status before considering marriage. If you have a tight personal budget and never get to do anything except sit at home, the relationship can become very stressful which can lead to arguments. Couples fight most over financial issues, in-law issues, and sexual issues more than any other issues.
You're considering marriage to escape your current living conditions.
You may not have a proper home or you may be living with both parents, or one - or other family members, or friends. But if you don't feel 'true love' then you'll either be tied down to a lifetime of 'I wish I hadn't married' OR a stressful and expensive divorce in your future.
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