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Mean Mother in Law Stories
How to Deal With Mean Mother in Laws
Written by Lipstick 'n Boots Sky Taylor
Where do I begin, to tell a story of how crummy love can be.... And so the story goes:
If you're a good mother in law and have innocently skipped into this domain (which can at times be deservingly brutal to wayward mother in laws) then take note that this site commends you for being a total angel! You have heart.
If you've been on the receiving end of a nasty mother in law 'relationship', this site should help you release some of the tension inside of you so that you don't (i) explode into the universe (which by the way, would make 'mother' totally happy), and (ii) so you might understand the old bat and learn ways to sidestep her two step.
If you're an evil mother in law, then rest your claws on your keyboard. Your grown baby's partner is having a living nightmare - and guess who's Freddy?
In summary, Mother is a bit loony in the tuney. She wants only the best in life for her offspring - no rocking of the boat, yet she continually generates tidal waves by:
Insisting that her offspring's partner is ship-shod
she is determined to discharge this unwanted crew member
discharging the unwanted crew member will ensure smooth sailing
As you can see, we have a lot of 'x marks the spots' yet there is no treasure about. Perhaps we can dig up some? We've got a lot of work to do - so let's get busy learning all about Mother, shall we? Oh, and here's some first aid cream to help sooth her most recent claw marks, k?
Some people are blessed with angels disguised as mother-in-laws. These angels know what to say, when to offer help, and how to stay out of their offspring's relationship.
Some people are cursed with demons disguised as mother-in-laws. These demons continually find things wrong with you, how you've set up your house, how you cook, how you clean, how you look, how you don't take care of their baby, and how inadequate you are at taking care of their grandbaby.
Or if you're male, how you're not good enough for their daughter who could have, and should have, married Stone E. Whittlemocker, JR. VVVIX from the junior college. They never offer to help; they just step in and do do without your permission. Perhaps the most troublesome issue is that they are usually a part of your relationship, an unsavory 'triangle', a triangle that's not romantic in the least!
If you're like most people dealing with a dastardly mother-in-law, you've tried just about every trick in the book and then some. You feel trapped, like a beautiful wounded white dove shoved into a corner by a vicious tiger (mother-in-law). Concern leaches out at you:
You are concerned that your partner feels trapped in the middle.
You are concerned because you can't see a window for the old crow to fly out of.
You feel angry because you keep attempting to bond with the old bat and her rejection is demoralizing. Just how much longer can you attempt to offer the olive branch? There aren't many more of those branches left on the tree and her beak is still rather sharp.
Generally, one thing is for certain; mother-in-laws are female. Rarely, you'll see an incident surrounding the father-in-law. Father-in-laws are too concerned with the important things in life such as watching football and drinking lite beer. In addition, it's usually 'mother-in-law VS new female figure' in their son's life. So, why is it mainly the mother-in-law that contributes to relationship problems?
Hormones are a possibility. They are responsible for almost every woe known to man, even pestilence.
Control - they just can't let little Jimmy go. Maybe when he's 59. It takes time to grow up.
They are jealous because you are either the new female figure in their son's life or, you are the new buddy in their daughter's life. Going shopping alone sort of takes the fun out of things. Nutty, isn't it?
Okay, we've touched upon some very important things regarding the wolf in sheep's clothing scenario. But how can we deal with this vicious person in our life without malice? Let's look at some probable solutions:
· Talk turkey with the mad wet hen. Tell her point blank that she will NOT interfere in your relationship and if she continues, then she will lose. Warning: If you decide to implement this type plan, you MUST have the total cooperation of your partner. Why? Because your partner will be giving 'Mother' this caveat, not you.
· Start delving out errands for 'Mother' to do. If she wants to be a part of the relationship, then she should do her share of the workload - not just the fun stuff.
Mother: " Sally, you don't know how to do laundry worth a flip! My son's shirts are always wrinkled!"
Sally: " Yes, just like your face, Mother dear," you silently think. Bravely, you plant a smile on your lips and ease out, " You know, you're right, darling. Why don't you start taking Steve's laundry home with you and doing it for him? I know he'll appreciate that - as will I. And it will give us more time together, rather than cleaning and ironing. Mother, you're a genius!"
Mother: " Ug…um…wha…hurmp…ta…wha…my…"
Sally: "Why, Mother! You're so happy that you're speechless! Now, come along and we'll share an apple together..."
See how nicely that worked out?
Encourage her to seek some medical attention. This could be the root of all evil. She's operating on the Dr. Jeckle/Mr. Hyde theory.
Offer to go to counseling with her and your husband or wife. Leave all weapons at home.
Enlist the help of your father-in-law if applicable. This is a guy who knows all the right buttons (literally) to push where 'Mother' is concerned.
Work out visitation rights she gets your partner Monday through Friday and every third weekend. The brilliance behind this is that she'll be stuck with most of that wrinkly laundry. You'll have your honey for weekend adventure and fun! At all costs, fight to retain custody during the holidays. Mother can stay home and cook the holiday dinner since she's such a perfectionist.
If the mother-in-law's interference is too detrimental to the relationship then you and your partner may have to consider severing ties with her. This should be your last option. Moving to Siberia isn't fun.
Some things that should never do to Mothra - I mean Mother are:
Encourage her to binge on foods high in nitrates and cholesterol. That would be a poor reflection on your own health values.
Never give her a perfume that you know will give her a headache.That's equivalent to a grapefruit in the face and it's very uncouth in front of family as they watch Mother excitedly open her gifts. Ix-nay on the Cubic Zirconium as well. Remember, diamonds are a hag's best friend.
Never, but never, make her a witch's costume for Halloween. Stick with the tried and true white sheet, two holes. If she smokes, a third hole is acceptable. Do not pre-treat the fabric with flammable chemicals.
Never place the butt of the turkey in her plate during the holidays. For one, she may panic because she assumes her chin has fallen off and two, again - the entire family will be watching. It's tough trying to operate when you've got curious onlookers to deal with.
If you attend a fair together and she wants to have her face painted, don't - under any circumstance, offer the artist a $20 bribe for slipping in a 666 on 'Mother's' forehead. The clown in Tent #2 will be watching and is guaranteed to tell. You just can't trust a clown.
If you go on a fishing excursion with 'Mother' then don't accidentally toss the casting net over her. She may be always spouting off and she may look like Ahab's wildy whale, but she's only Mother.
Never bury Mother on the beach by your sandcastle. Remember, no one liked Baby Jane.
If you take Mother hiking, don't give her fresh bread. The birds will peck that up very swiftly and Mother won't be able to find her way back to your home. Stick to dependendable stale bread. The last thing you need is for your husband or wife to blame you for losing their mother.
If none of these mother in law tips work, be patient. We all have to go sometime. This article is for entertainment purposes only and not meant as a guide to any domestic problem. If your situation is making you miserable seek professional guidance and encourage your partner to assist you.