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Sample Dear John Letters
Written by Lipstick 'n Boots
Are you having trouble getting rid of that special no-one? If so, perhaps a Dear John letter would be of help. What's that? Oh. You've never written a Dear John letter before.
Lucky you! We've hammered out a few fine Dear John letters that you can use as patterns for creating your own, very personalized Dear John letter.
What's that? You're 'dear john' is female? Oh. Well, don't fret. We've got a few Dear Jane sample letters, too. Dear John and Dear Jane letters that will have your insignificant other running in the opposite direction - after new game. Happy hunting!
Dear John Letter #1
Dear John, This may come as a total shock but I must inform you that I am not what I seem. During the past ten months I have been doing understudy work for the nunnery. Yes, John - I am a nun.
All those romantic moments, you might ask? All fake, John. Just another day, another night amid my studies. Why, you might ask?
Our nunnery wanted to discover how the other half lived - how the other half loved.
So now you know, John. I can only hope that you won't be crushed and throw yourself off of a bridge or something. You may suddenly feel alone - and trust me, I personally know how that feels - if that's any comfort to you, John. And if you do consider tossing yourself off a bridge, please don't count on me flying by to save you, because nuns don't have wings as commonly believed, John. Sincerely, Sister Agatha (aka Aggie)
Dear John Letter #2
Dear John, for the last two months I've had a strong urge to adjust some aspects of my life. Of course, I know that you love me - and that you'll understand totally. With that said, I wanted to set forth a letter to you to discuss the series of changes in my life because these changes will of course, affect you too. And I know that you'll support me 100%. I have condensed my list to reflect my top ten life changes.
1. I plan to purchase a Saint Bernard, perhaps two. I know that you're allergic, but I just can't help myself.
2. I have decided that French armpits are far sexier than American armpits, therefore I am never shaving there again.
3. And as long as I'm not shaving under my arms, why go to the trouble to shave my legs?
4. Or my chin beard?
5. And upper lip?
6. Mother and I are growing apart, so I plan to ask her to visit with us for a month.
7. Perhaps two.
8. I think I would like to have twins, John.
9. Then again, triplets sounds nice - and as long as mother is there to help, why not? Get it all OVER at once. (note the subliminal message in implementing the capital OVER?)
10. I suppose that with babies on the way, we'll need to ditch your sport's car and invest in a Geo.
Sincerely, Why Do You Spoil Me So Rotten!
Dear John Letter #3
Dear John, let me count the ways that I love you! The thing that I love best about you is the big size of your pocketbook.
I also adore how good that I look in your hot red sport's car. And how could I ever forget how much that I love your love for sports - because how else could I have such a perfect excuse to go shopping with your money? Ha ha.
And I love how you look in the colorful Hawaiian shirt that your mother bought you last Christmas because whenever you wear that shirt, it gives me the opportunity to wear my white satin gown which parallels so nicely against all that wild color. I really love how it makes me stand out and shine in a crowd. By you, of course!
I also love your brain - and who cares that it's just a bit slower than average? I love it, and that's what counts.
I also love the fact that you have no sense of direction and that I do. Who else in the world has a man that can't tell west from east? North from south? And Texas from Nevada? Sincerely, Proud Mary
ROMANCE & LOVE STORIES AT LIPSTICK n' BOOTS:
SAMPLES OF DEAR JOHN LETTERS & DEAR JANE LETTERS: Dear John Letters | Dear Jane Letters | Vain Jane Advice | More Advice From Vain Jane | Bambie, Dear in Headlights | The Hex - Confronting the Ex-Girlfriend Issue
ROMANCE & DATING: Special Romantic Moments | Fondue Equals Romance | Grandmother Finds Romance | Massage in a Bottle | Online Dating & Romance | 92 In Pigtails | Relationship Solutions | Romantic Strolls | Castles of Myth & Men, a Medieval Story | 3 Fairy Tales | Heart of the Tinman - a Short Love Story | 15 Things Women Love About Men | 15 Things Men Love About Women | Me Tarzan, You Jane | Mary Ann or Ginger? | Fun Compatibility Quiz | Great Date Suggestions | Romance - Love Birds OR Vultures? |
BABY RELATED: Your romance is going so smoothly and you've never felt more in love with your partner. Then quite suddenly, Cupid announces that within a year, your entire romantic relationship will take on a big change - a baby is on the way, testing the waters of your romance. Baby on Board | And Baby Makes Three | Taming Little Timmy | Tarzan & Jane, Romantic Poetry Butchered
ROMANCE & LOVE: Candle Personalities | Candles & Romance, Including a Torrid Dick & Jane Candle Story & Candle Burning Tips | Allergy Tips | Romantic Decorating Ideas for the Bedroom | Seasonal House Decor Ideas | Bath Salts Recipes | Love Potions, Monster Love, Monster Breath | Solutions For Teen Troubles | The Hope Chest & Dear Diary | Finding Online Romance | Free Sample Resumes & Thank You Letters | Save Money on Fast Food Dining | Saving Money on Groceries | Stressed From Stress | Thanksgiving Tips for the Romantic | What to Do if HE or SHE Forgot Valentine's Day | Winterizing Your Home Tips - Money Saving Ideas | How Can You Mend a Broken Heart? | Symptoms of AIDS | A Marriage Made in Heaven